Advice From A Friend

Dear Miss Mseer,

Listing is an skill that is needed nowadays. to listen is not an easy as you stated, particularly if the topic or the presenter lack effective presentation skills.
However in any case it is important to listen and preserve our patience as matter of respect to the person who put an effort and prepared some topics to present.

Secondly, when you are too much used to field work and much excludes yourself away to the field, you tend to be too much filed oriented thus, get too bored in the office.
As a point to make, I think human being is always anti routine. Meaning to say, we have less tolerance towards repetitive activity and try to change whenever chance arise. therefore it is vital even for someone like you who is lucky to have chance to be in the office and field to balance between the two activities.
Focusing on one is on expense of the other, we need to stay in the office to prepare ourselves for other field and vice versa.

Try to enjoy the journey before reaching the destiny, by doing so, you keep yourself happy with what you have till you reach what you aim at.

Once again, am just so impressed by your writings and wish you get the strength and courage to continue.

 

Note: Thank you very much for your advice. I appreciated.

Being Sad

Being sad is the most horrible feeling ever. I can feel that I am broken inside out side, and I can feel the pain of my heart broking into pieces. It is like your soul getting out of your body, and you cannot do anything expect feeling the pain of it. I am very sad today because of many things in which most of these many I do not know about.......

I know that I want to change so many things in my life, and I want to achieve one very important goal that it would change my life for ever, but sometimes you want and work hard yet you always miss the finish line. It is tiring, very tiring. I am very tired.

My tiring adds more to my sadness. When I am tired, I cannot enjoy anything because I cannot feel it. I am too tired to enjoy the little and the beautiful things in the daily life. Exhaustion could lead to sadness, depression, and isolation and vice-versa.

Sorrow, exhaustion and isolation are very related to each other because when I am exhausted, I cannot do anything, I isolate myself in which my sorrow would increase. All these complicated feelings will lead you to have a depression. In this way, you would loss so many good moments in life. You would miss your goal and lose all your hard work.

For me, it is very important to deal with my sorrow in a very positive way in which I direct my sadness to my own best. It is very hard to do that, and sometimes it is imposable but it is okay. It is okay to be sad, tired and isolated. From time to time, everybody needs to be left a lone, and it is considered a positive thing in which you rewrite you goals and have a clear path to achieve them.

I am one of the people who have dealt with many sad incidents, and from my prespective, many will cross my path again. I am very spiritual person and I consider myself as a strong believer in which I believe that things happen for a higher purposes. Every sad or bad incident or situation could make a strong person if you want so.   

I am sad and tired now, but I know that I will be okay, and I know things will be okay soon. I believe so.........

XOXO
 

She is My Son: Afghanistan's Bacha Posh, When Girls Become Boys

She is My Son: Afghanistan's Bacha Posh, When Girls Become Boys

The curious case of 'bacha posh' takes RT to Afghanistan – a society so patriarchal that a family having several daughters and no sons is a social stigma that’s impossible to shake. This leads to some girls being forced to live as boys. Some for life.

“I have seven daughters and no son,” says Mohammed, a father.
His daughter, Amena, sitting nearby, somberly confirms what needs to be done in such cases.

“Even though I’m a girl, I must become a boy. I want to do something good for my family, for my father, that’s why I’m a ‘bacha posh’,” she says.

The Persian phrase ‘bacha posh’ literally translates as ‘dressed as a boy’. It is a cultural practice in parts of Pakistan, Afghanistan and Iran, whereby one of the girls assumes the role of a boy, her true identity only known to her parents and siblings. She dresses as a boy, plays football as a boy, goes to school - like boys do - and can move about town freely. Even escort her sisters.

The benefits of education are obvious. And the family, particularly the father, can have some peace away from the judgmental public eye.
But how do the children cope with such major transformations? Each individual story is unique. We met Fazilya, Asiya, Najla and Amena – all unique young ladies from different backgrounds. One of them, Fazilya, was raised as a boy from birth. Outside her household she is known as Abos.

 

The benefits of education are obvious. And the family, particularly the father, can have some peace away from the judgmental public eye.
But how do the children cope with such major transformations? Each individual story is unique. We met Fazilya, Asiya, Najla and Amena – all unique young ladies from different backgrounds. One of them, Fazilya, was raised as a boy from birth. Outside her household she is known as Abos.
It becomes apparent throughout the course of the documentary that limitations don’t always have to be crippling. Some children even enjoy being given the role of a boy, as they walk around in jeans, scale fences and play football with their male friends. Others feel it is the honorable thing to do.
But others yet, like the older Najla Tofan, have a different perspective on life altogether. They have learned in childhood that only men in Afghanistan enjoy any measure of real freedom – the freedom to move about alone, decide what to do and in what order. They retain their femininity and gender identity quite well, even into their late teenage years; at the same time, they never take their eye off the ball, always playing the role of the boy masterfully.
Away from her office work, Tofan teaches Taekwondo in the only girls’ school in the area, hidden away deep in a cellar. When the class is over, she heads to evening school.
“I feel good dressed as a man. I feel stronger. I feel like a man. And I like it.”
While some girls’ identities seem to end up changed irreversibly, others have no problem switching back. When some bacha posh come of age, they go back to dressing as women, while their parents attempt to marry them off – more often than not, to a relative. Tofan is a rare exception. She has pointedly refused to start a family and have children.
Even in deeply-conservative Afghanistan, some choose to accept the choices a girl makes when she seamlessly transitions between her two identities in the course of the day.
Join RT on this journey into Afghanistan to find out just how little you really knew of this fascinating regional custom.





 

A Worried Feeling

A worried feeling in which you cannot get  ride of,  you do not know what is about or how you got it from the first place. this worried feeling is like a pain in your heart and it keeps hurting you. for me, I always think that something bad will happen to me or anyone close to me in which I keep checking on everyone and keep calling them till this feeling disappear. It is annoying, disturbing, upsetting, uncomfortable, and bothering. I hate it so much that I just want to sleep all day till I lose it; however, I cannot because when you have job and work to do you must live with it. During my work especially when I have this feeling I check my work, emails, and anything I write or do 10 times because I lose my focus and attention.

In my case, I live in Iraq, Baghdad where bad things happen for real such as a suicide bomber, a car bomb, and exploding. Therefore, when I have this feeling in which it is very normal for many people, but for me it is anxiety. It is overwhelming for me because for me it is a sign of awful thing that it may happen. 
I know, I am very pessimistic when it comes to this worrying feelings. Everyone has it is own perspective on this matter in my case it is one of the worst one. 
Still hope, I really do.......  

Sacred Sisterhood Pledge

I Pledge....

I pledge to the women of the world…

To cultivate sacred sisterhood, honoring both myself, you, and all women.

I will take a stand for our rights, safety, well-being, and equality.

I will stand by your side if ever you are bullied or shamed, treated without kindness and respect.

I will honor, nourish, and cherish the feminine in both of us, celebrating the natural rhythms of our bodies and nature, the wisdom of our intuition, the guidance of our feelings, and the creative magic of our vision.

I will support you in remembering your truth, seeing your gifts, beauty, and wisdom – connecting to your purpose and dreams.

I will value you and support you in valuing yourself through claiming your worth, wisdom, right compensation, self-care boundaries, and needs.

I will honor that you have different ways of living than me, different beliefs, preferences, values and needs. I will be open to learn from our differences without making either of us wrong or bad.

I will honor and respect the wisdom and value of all phases of age, body shape, health, and abilities.

I will courageously speak up if I see relationship patterns or behaviors that harm your physical, mental, or emotional well-being while also honoring your timing, journey and choices.

I will be open to receive your feedback on my relationship patterns and habits, be humble that I may be resistant to seeing the truth, and will check in with my inner guidance before taking any actions to change.

I will cherish your secrets and personal shares in sacred confidentiality.

I will not spread gossip, rumors or perpetuate drama, say bad things about you to others, nor bad things about others to you. I will use my words as a sacred creative tool to connect, inspire, collaborate, and illuminate.

I will give you authentic compliments, lift you up, support you as you grow, hug you when you want it, take care of you when you are not well, embrace your tears, and encourage your aliveness.

I will be gentle and respectful when I share my reflections with you about things that don’t feel good to me or meet my needs, boundaries, or desires. I will do my best to not disconnect, punish, blame, or push you away.

When you are sharing your challenges with me I will seek to be fully present, to listen, to ask questions, and to confirm with you how you would like to be supported. I will tune in with myself to ensure I am available to offer you the support you desire, and will not judge myself if I am not.

When I feel really strong emotions or triggers, I will release the energy through dance, movement, song, art, writing or another form, reflecting on and distilling the truth of what wants to be shared before I speak. I will communicate with an intention for understanding, connection, clarity, and harmony.

I will try to be courageous when I’m afraid to be vulnerable, I will breathe open my heart when I want to hide or shut down, I will trust my intuition to guide me how to share in a safe way.

I will reach out to you when I need it, accept if you are not available, and remember that I am not alone.

If I feel judgmental or triggered, I will let it reveal to me what wants to be healed in myself, opening to gratitude for the gift of insight and this opportunity to grow.

If I am harsh or unkind, I will take responsibility for it, and take the time to cultivate healing within so I may show up with my authentic care.

I give us both permission to be messy, to be in process, in transition, to stumble as we grow, to be wild, passionate, unleashed, and full of life.

I will seek to be pure in my intentions, transforming any manipulative tendencies or hidden agendas into deep self-trust and cultivating a connection with my soul’s desire for you to thrive.

I will not use your successes to make me feel small or create distance between us, I will celebrate them and open to being inspired.  I will do my best to support you in living your dreams.

I will ensure that I am taking care of myself so I can show up for myself, you, humanity and this gorgeous planet.

I will do my best to be on your team.

I will cultivate generosity, sharing, and collaboration so we can support each other’s missions knowing it is creating a better world for all.

I will recognize the importance of sisterhood and create time in my life to nourish our connection.

I want to live in a world touched by your radiant presence, unique gifts, and soul’s purpose.

I am your sister. I see you, I thank you, I care about you.

Walking

For me, walking is the only way to find time for myself. I walk everyday, not as often as I should. It helps me clear my mind. I have always love walking especially in winter because it gives you very unique and different feeling and it takes you mind away from feeling cold. Walking makes me feel free and unattached in which I can enjoy every second of my time. No one tells you to do that or that, and you got caught with work. I do not remember last time I sat down and had a moment just to think of my next step. All happens so fast so tiring in which you cannot think clearly and after work, you go home and you have home responsibilities. Also, you have your friends and so many other things. Some time, I find this frustrating and depressing in which you cannot have time to yourself to think of what you want and need. What is your next step? Stop thinking of work, what you do, what you forget to do, and how you handle this and that. What has happened to me? So many questions that even I cannot find time to answer. What went wrong?

I walk five minutes from home to work and the other way around. It is 10 mins total. In this 10 mins, I free myself and look at the children who are going to their schools running behind each other in which they race with a very innocent smile. I see all kind of people who are going to work. some of them look sleepy and angry, some look like they are racing with time, some of them look careless, and they others look like it is another day what the hock will happen.

 Other than seeing people and children, you see yourself in these people and think that one day, you will be in the same category as these people so you have to define yourself. I have never thought that of me. Honestly, I wanted to do that and that but eventually it turned out that I wanted but why I have wanted to do it.

Life is very complicated and my life is more complicated. Lets make some noise in this life and see what will happen in the next one.

Keep walking, have more time to yourself and most importantly have fun while walking.

WELCOME 2017

Welcome 2017: every person has its new resolutions for 2017 in which he/she decides to make a list of the thins that is needed to be achieved or accomplished in this year. In the other hand, there are people who make a different list in which she/he would correct all the things that went wrong last year. Others make a list of changes in which she/he would changes their style and most likely changes the people in their lives. What kind of person is you? Most people do not make a list and believe in the divine decisions or paths.  

 

I am a bit late because I did not have any. I am not that kind of person who is good in planning. I don't think that I would ever be. I am panicking when everything is okay and be calm when the worst happening. I have an idea in which when I plan, my plans never go accordingly. It wont happen. This is a fact that I have always realized but not admitted. However, I have made my plans hoping that one day, my plans would be achieved.

I hope that 2017 would bring pace and joy to the world. God knows what would happen in this year but hopefully it will be much better than the last year. I am very optimistic so who knows.  

Saying Sorry Is never Enough

Being sorry for an act or a behavior is supposed to show your regret and your deep emotions considering this accident or incident. Sorry should be the word that gets out of the heart to touch another one. I have always used this word with sincere feelings because I believe this word is the most hardest word for anyone, and it does not only show regret but it also shows respect and care to another person. I have not used it to this word "sorry"because I believe that if I do things or act or even behave in certain manners would based on my beliefs and principles that I have set in my life. I know that I should not accept people to understand me for my behavior. I cannot say that my actions are all justified or make sense. I know that it hurts or it gives the notion that I do not care but it is not true. I am very caring person not saying that because I want to show my bright side but I say it because this is may be my worst side ever. Being caring person is very hard and difficult. It cannot be achieved most of the time but at least, I tried very hard. I tried from the bottom of my heart.

To be honest, I feel like I am lost and heading  to  nowhere. I lost my way and I do not know what is wrong or right but I know this for sure, I will keep trying to gain the trust and the respect of the people whom I care about. Humans make mistakes and it is not a shame to do so, but not admitting your mistakes is what will keep you apart from the people who you love.